How Much Money Do You Make?

Love this question!

So for those who have not yet gotten this question, some things to ponder:

• Younger kids probably don’t know the difference between $1,000 and $100,000, so you may be able to settle the issue by letting them know that you make enough for them not to need to worry about running out of money.
• For older kids, try explaining what it costs to keep the household up and running, which will at least give them a baseline number (you can explain taxes later). That begins to teach them about budgeting.
• The old-fashioned among you will tell kids that it’s none of their business. I don’t buy that. Kids worry about money, and shooing them away and telling them not to worry about it probably won’t put them at ease.
• And you should be aware that a wily teenager may be able to look up your salary online if you work for the government, a labor union or a nonprofit group. Kids can also dig up mortgage information or estimates on what your house is worth.

How have you handled this question with your kids? 

Broken Items – Accidents Do Happen

This week we got a great question from a reader: “What should we do if one of our kids breaks something?” We all know that with kids, things will get broken. It’s just a matter of time! So what is a parent to do? How should broken items be replaced, and who should pay for them?

It is possible, and valuable, to teach and inspire your kids to take responsibility when accidents happen. We’ve got some good ways for you to start the dialog before you are get into a meltdown over a broken item in a store — or at home.

When To Do

Some relaxed evening or a Saturday afternoon

What To Do

The key to this practice is advance preparation. Once you’re all prepared, you can use accidents as opportunities to (1) teach your kids that they can learn from and make amends for mistakes, (2) help them recognize the financial consequences of their actions, and (3) build their sense of personal responsibility.

Establishing the Family Rules

Each family should set up rules for broken items and who is responsible. Take time to think through the possibilities and get clear on your point of view — before something happens.
Here are some example rules:

• In our home, if anyone accidentally breaks something that belongs to someone else, the right thing to do is to make amends by offering to fix or replace the item.
• In our home, we will work to help whoever accidentally breaks something to be able to help pay for a replacement item. 

Practice/Dialog
Set up time to talk to your kids about accidents before they happen. To make it fun, consider playing the “What if?” game by asking your kids what they should do if they accidentally break something and how they’d do it.

1. Pull together a number of items in your home ranging in value from very inexpensive to very expensive. For example:
   • Milk glass
   • Kitchen chair
   • Front window (point it out, over there across the room)
   • Music player
   • Video game player
   • TV
2. Set the items on a table (if at all possible) for the review.
3. See if the kids can guess their approximate cost — it’s OK to tell them if they are too young to know.
4. “What if XXXX gets broken?” Discuss with them what they might pay for each of the items on the table, and how.

How Much to Pay?

1. You can negotiate with your kids on how much money would be reasonable for them to contribute to buy a new item they have broken.
2. For young kids, consider helping them to replace the item, so their fledgling efforts at money management are not overwhelmed by trying to replace costly items all by themselves.
3. Depending on the item, that could mean having them pay a percentage of the cost of the item (for example, if the item cost $10, you could ask your kid to pay 20% or $2), or your kid could pay one flat rate regardless of the cost.
4. Even paying a small portion of replacement cost can be a very valuable lesson for younger kids.

What You Will Need

• Items from around the home to practice “What if?”
• Websites or magazines to help kids determine the cost of items
• Patience

Talk About It

Do you kids think it is fair to have to pay for something they break? Do they know kids who already do this? Do they know other kids who do not have to — and if so, what do they think of those family rules? Does knowing they’ll need to pay something for broken items help to make them more careful?

Clip and Earn

Wouldn’t life be grand if we could always get the best price for things we need (and the things we want)? Assuming unlimited time and energy, we probably could. Since that’s not very realistic, the next best thing we can do is to take advantage of the deals that are all around us.

Get your kids involved in locating the deals and along the way teach them an important money skill: how to be a wise consumer. We love wise consumers because they are good at finding the best value or can pick the best items for a certain price. Why overpay when you do not have to?

An easy way for kids to learn about relative value is to watch the ads and clip coupons, so money can be saved on items that would have been bought anyway at full price. Working with your kids to clip coupons also gives you the opportunity to include a family value lesson too. For example, how far in advance do you like to plan, and why is it important to plan? How important is it to keep things organized, so you can find them when you need them?

When To Try
After school, before dinner, Sunday morning

What To Do
It is a good idea to have your grocery list handy for your kids to use when looking for coupons.

Finding, Clipping and Organizing the Coupons

• Show your kids how to find the coupons in the Sunday newspaper, or go online to find coupons for your favorite stores.
• If your community gets store coupons in the mail, have your kids collect, sort, and clip the important ones.
• Let your kids know what you consider good foods and goods that fit your rules for eating well in your home.
• Show them how to clip or print the coupons, organize, and store them in an envelope/folder/booklet.
  • Help them learn ways to organize the coupons: expiration date, store, type of food, and/or amount of discount, whatever works best for you.

While at the Store

• Next time you go to the grocery store, put your kids in charge of collecting the items for which they have coupons.
• At the cashier, when you find out how much you’ve saved, give your kids that exact amount as reward for their good work.
• To give older kids an extra challenge, have them bring a calculator to the store. Give them the assignment of adding up the savings they expect. Check their total with the cashier’s figure. Did they get it right?

Coupon Tips
Here are some things we have learned over the years for getting the most from store coupons.

• Don’t be too tied to a particular brand: Try products for which you have coupons. You might be surprised to find new things you like.
• Get the Sunday paper at the store: If you buy the paper at a store, you can guarantee the weekly coupons will be inside. Most papers contain the circular coupons from P&G, Red Plum, and Smartsource.
• Figure out when the coupons are worth the most: Grocery stores tend not to put items on sale that are in a particular week’s coupon circular. So watch for them to appear on sale a few weeks out.
• Look on the Web: There are plenty of websites that let you know of upcoming deals, such as www.coupons.com and www.hip2save.com. Often they will also tell you which circular had the best coupon for items on sale.
• Shop the Sales: Find out when groceries go on sale in your favorite stores, usually Wednesday or Thursday, and plan to shop the first day of sale.
• Know your local store coupon policies: Find, print, and take them with you. For example, the first 10 coupons at one store are doubled up to a certain amount. The more you know, the farther the coupon value will go.

What You’ll Need

1. Coupon inserts from local grocery stores, Sunday paper, web coupons
2. Scissors
3. Coupon carrier
4. Shopping list
5. Computer/printer

Talk About It
Were your kids able to find the items they had coupons for? What did they think of the amount of money saved? Did any of the coupons count for double or triple their face value?

Birthday Party with Heart

One of our most cherished cultural traditions is to celebrate the date of a loved one’s birth with a party. For our kids, this tradition often begins when they are as young as 1 or 2. As parents, we want to see our kids honored in a way that is memorable and fun. Birthday parties are best known for fun themes; games; a cake with candles, a song, and a wish; and special playtime with classmates, close friends, and siblings.

And then there are the gifts. Typically, each party guest brings a gift for the birthday child, and often each leaves with a thank-you gift. The number of gifts trading hands in all the kids’ birthday parties across the country on any given weekend, let alone if we count the entire year, adds up to a number in the millions.

There’s an opportunity here, while kids are excitedly reveling in an abundance of fun, goodies, and new stuff, to appreciate how fortunate they are and to share a little with those who aren’t so fortunate.

When To Do It
The next birthday party you host for one of your children.

What To Do
As you plan your kid’s birthday party, consider having guests bring a donation, to encourage kids to make part of the party experience an opportunity to share with others.

What to Donate: Cash or a Book

1. Explain to your “birthday kid” that you’d like to include in the party a fun way to give something to those who have less.
2. Decide whether you prefer that the donation be books or cash.
3. If you choose a book donation:
   • Let your kid know you would like to ask all the party guests to bring a book to donate.
   • Pull out a number of your kids’ books. Talk about the books they have and about kids who may not have any books.
   • Help your kid identify one book to give away at the party.
   • Help your kid choose which organization should get the books. If necessary, you can suggest a doctor’s office, the hospital, an after-school program, or some other appropriate organization in your community.
4. If you choose a cash donation:
   • Talk to your kid about the idea of sharing part of their birthday abundance with kids who may not have very much.
   • Let your kid know you would like to ask all the birthday party guests to bring a small cash donation — $1 to $5 — and that your kid gets to decide which organization will receive the money.
   • Explain that your kid will still be receiving gifts, but they may be a little less lavish, because the guests will also be giving to the charity your kid chooses.
   • Help your kid choose which organization should get the donation. You can suggest an animal shelter, children’s hospital, a food bank, or some other recognizable organization in your community.
5. Have your kid decorate the donation box (for books) or jar (for cash), including putting the name of the organization on it.
6. In your party invitations, include a request for each guest to bring a book (new or used) or a small cash donation, which will go the “xxx” charity your child has selected.
7. Place the donation box or jar near the entry to the party so guests can easily deposit their donations as they arrive.
8. Before the party ends, have your kid thanks guests and share where the donation will be going.
9. Pick a day to deliver the donation with your kid; consider recording it on camera and revisiting that movie (or pictures) on future birthdays.

Now, let’s get this party started!

Things You Will Need

• Jar or box
• Pens, pencils
• Scissors
• Colored paper
• Tape or glue

Talk About It
After the party, when things have calmed down, ask your kid whether the donation idea worked. Did any of the friends who came ask why your kid was doing this? Is it possible that some of them may try this on their birthdays? After you have made the donation, ask whether your kid would be interested in doing it again on the next birthday.

Tips on Tipping

What exactly is a tip? Who decided on the rules that go with how much and for what? Why are the rules different for each kind of service? And why do the rules for tipping vary by region, culture, and country?

As you might image, the ambiguous world of tipping is a bit perplexing to kids. Take tipping in a restaurant. Has you child ever gone back to the table to grab the change you left for the wait staff because they thought you forgot your money? How can you help your kids learn the general principles of tipping—and that tips need to be considered in the cost of certain activities such as eating in a restaurant?

When To Do
Dining out

What To Do
Next time you get ready to pay the bill in a restaurant, get your kids involved in determining the tip.

If you have never involved them, start here

• Let your kids know that the people who have served your food earn a living (in part) from tips, the money that diners voluntarily give above the cost of the meal.
• Let your kids know that it’s normal to leave a certain amount, about 10-15% of the cost of the check; although, a person may choose to leave more or less, depending on their satisfaction with the service and personal preferences (or values).

When at the restaurant

• Teach your kids how you determine the tip amount.
  • Share why you chose the amount you did.
  • Make it very clear what your criteria is for the current tip’s calculation.
  • Ask if they agree or disagree with your decision.
• Calculate the amount based on your decisions.
  • Because young kids won’t be able to figure percentages in their heads, you may want to bring a calculator along for this purpose.
• Have your kids help you count out the tip money to leave on the table.

Things to try at home

• Put your kids in charge of rating service and calculating tips as part of their contribution to the family.
• You can also practice with your kids at home. Have them serve you a meal and present a bill, so you can calculate and give the tip. Or reverse the game to find out how your kids value your service!

What You Will Need

• Calculator
• Paper and pencil (to create “restaurant bill”)

Talk About It
Talk about other services that typically include a tip, for instance, room service in a hotel, or a haircut. Do you use the same percentage tip rule for these other services? Why or why not?

Wish List

Have you ever dreamt of owning a really fast car – or taking a month-long vacation – or buying season tickets to the ballet? As adults, we have savings goals that often require some pretty big sums of money to fulfill our wishes. We have learned to save to buy a home, maybe start our own business, or be ready for a long retirement. It turns out that those who are successful in meeting financial goals are really good at saving money. And we’re willing to bet these folks got into the habit of saving money early on. Like, when they were kids!

So where do you begin with your kids? Unless they were born with frugal genes, they probably prefer spending money to saving it. Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting material things. Having a goal serves as incentive for achieving it. So let your kids dream of things they want, as long as they understand that it’s up to them to make it happen.

When To Do

Some evening after homework is done

What To Do

Your kids can learn to become more determined savers by having their own savings goals. The key is to set and reach short-term goals so your kids develop the savings habit.

1. Compile a wish list – aka a set of savings goals – with a second column for costs. The wish list is just another way of writing down financial goals on paper.
• Help your kids write a list of the things they want, today. Tip: include some small, inexpensive items for early successes (see step 2).
• Help your kids rank their items in order of importance, from high to low.
• Help them come up with a ballpark cost for each item and write it in the cost column next to the item.
• Post the wish list on the fridge or some other very visible spot, so you and your kids stay focused on the goals.
2. Chart a course to make those wishes come true – help your kids map out a plan to save up the money.
• Start with the least expensive goal on the list, because it will take the shortest amount of time to reach – ideally, just one or two weeks. Early success is key to starting the savings habit.
• If your kids get an allowance, determine how much of it you will let them use toward their savings goal – this will set the length of time to reach the goal. Optional: offer to match their savings to help shorten the time it takes to reach a goal.
• If your kids do not get an allowance, consider giving them a small amount of money each week, earmarked for helping them practice saving and reaching their goal. They need money in some form to practice building the saving habit.
• Have your kids track their progress on the wish list each week until they reach the goal.
• Once they reach the goal, take them shopping to get their wished-for item. And celebrate the accomplishment of reaching the goal!
3. Set the next goal, and continue to support your kids as they reach more and more short-term savings goals.
• When you get home from buying the first item, or soon afterward, take out the list again and select the next goal to begin saving for.
• You know your kids best, so keep the length of savings time appropriate for their ability and patience. One- or two-week goals for a five-year-old may be just fine. This may be the right level for your kid for an entire year. Be patient; the rewards will outweigh any of the small frustrations of the early habit-setting period.

What You Will Need

Paper/pencil
Magazines for ideas
Calculator
Patience

Talk About It

Did your kids find it easy to come up with things they wanted? Did they find it hard to wait until they had enough money to go shopping for their coveted item? Did they think of other ways they could get more money, like doing extra work to help out around the house?

Acts of Kindness

Valentine’s Day, February 14th, is a fun day for both young and old! More than just a day for romantic couples, it can be a day to celebrate friendship and kindness, and to show our appreciation for all who are dear to our hearts.

Because young kids are concrete thinkers, it can be hard for them to understand an abstract concept like kindness that can’t be represented by a physical object. However, by noticing when people around them give to others, offer their help, or take actions that make others feel comforted and loved, your kids can learn that "You are kind" means so much more than three words inscribed on a Valentine’s candy heart.

When To Do

Valentine’s Day, or any quiet afternoon

What To Do

Here are four kindness activities you can try with your kids this Valentine’s Day — or any other time during the year!

Here are four kindness activities you can try with your kids this Valentine’s Day — or any other time during the year!

1. Card Kindness
   1. What would Valentine’s Day be without pretty cards? Help your kids make cards of Kindness for those they appreciate in their lives.
   2. Help them identify ways in which their friends or family members have been kind. If they have trouble coming up with examples, give them some hints. (Hint for parents: take a little time in advance to recall some of these acts of kindness, so you’re ready to jog your kids’ memories!)
   3. Once they have some ideas, help them make cards thanking these special people for the various acts of kindness.
   4. Help them decorate with red paper, doilies, and stickers, or glue on candy hearts.
   5. You can suggest they also describe the kind act in writing — people love knowing that their kindness was noticed and remembered.
       
2. Special Gift Kindness
1. As your own budget allows, give your kids a special gift budget to buy small Gifts of Kindness for a few of the kind people in their lives.
2. Help your kids pick out items that mean something special to each of the people they have chosen. Suggest they remember gifts that they themselves have particularly enjoyed and treasured, and think about why they feel that way.
3. If they have money left over, suggest they treat themselves to a Gift of Kindness — or save the money for something more special later!
    
3. I Spied Kindness Box
1. Decorate an empty box with fun heartfelt images. Close it and cut a slot in the top.
2. For a one-month period, ask you kids to be on the lookout for acts of kindness.
3. Have them describe each kindness on a sheet of paper (the youngest kids may need your help with this), and drop it into the I Spied Kindness box.
4. At the end of the month, open the box and spend time reading aloud all the acts of kindness.
5. Give your kids a Gift of Kindness for all their hard work of noticing when people do kind things to others.
    
4. Kindness Jar
1. Have your kids decorate a Kindness Jar to fill with spare change that your family will collect for a month. (Kids will love to watch the jar fill up day by day.)
2. At the end of the month, help your kids sort the coins into coin roll wrappers and decide where they would like to donate the money.
3. Take them to the chosen charity and let them hand over the contents of the Kindness Jar.

What You Will Need

• Colored paper, doilies, stickers
• Candy hearts
• Jar Box (a shoe box or candy box is a good size)
• Scissors
• Tape, glue

Talk About It

Was it hard for your kids to find people who were kind? How many people do they know who are kind? Did they find it fun to do the activity you choose? Do they think they are kind?