This week we got a great question from a reader: “What
should we do if one of our kids breaks something?” We all know that with
kids, things will get broken. It’s just a matter of time! So what is a parent
to do? How should broken items be replaced, and who should pay for them?
It is possible, and valuable, to teach and inspire your
kids to take responsibility when accidents happen. We’ve got some good ways for you to start the dialog before you are get into a meltdown over
a broken item in a store — or at home.
When to
Do
Some relaxed evening or a Saturday afternoon
What to
Do
The key to this practice is advance preparation. Once
you’re all prepared, you can use accidents as opportunities to (1) teach your
kids that they can learn from and make amends for mistakes, (2) help them
recognize the financial consequences of their actions, and (3) build their
sense of personal responsibility.
Establishing the Family Rules
Each family should set up rules for broken items and who
is responsible. Take time to think through the possibilities and get clear on your
point of view — before something happens.
Here are some example rules:
·
In our home, if anyone accidentally breaks something
that belongs to someone else, the right thing to do is to make amends by
offering to fix or replace the item.
·
In our home, we will work to help whoever accidentally
breaks something to be able to help pay for a replacement item.
Practice/Dialog
Set up time to talk to your kids about accidents before
they happen. To make it fun, consider playing the “What if?” game by asking
your kids what they should do if they accidentally break something and how
they’d do it.
1. Pull
together a number of items in your home ranging in value from very inexpensive
to very expensive. For example:
·
Milk glass
·
Kitchen chair
·
Front window (point it out, over there across the
room)
·
Music player
·
Video game player
·
TV
2. Set the
items on a table (if at all possible) for the review.
3. See if
the kids can guess their approximate cost — it’s OK to tell them if they are
too young to know.
4. “What if
XXXX gets broken?” Discuss with them what they might pay for each of the items
on the table, and how.
How Much to Pay?
1. You can
negotiate with your kids on how much money would be reasonable for them to
contribute to buy a new item they have broken.
2. For
young kids, consider helping them to replace the item, so trying to replace
costly items all by themselves does not overwhelm their fledgling efforts at
money management.
3. Depending
on the item, that could mean having them pay a percentage of the cost of the
item (for example, if the item cost $10, you could ask your kid to pay 20% or
$2), or your kid could pay one flat rate regardless of the cost.
4. Even
paying a small portion of replacement cost can be a very valuable lesson for
younger kids.
What you
will need
Items from around the home to practice “What if?”
Websites or magazines to help kids determine the cost of
items
Patience
Talk
about it
Do you kids think it is fair to have to pay for something
they break? Do they know kids who already do this? Do they know other kids who
do not have to — and if so, what do they think of those family rules? Does knowing
they’ll need to pay something for broken items help to make them more careful?