Was It Worth It?

Picture this: You are standing in the cereal aisle in your local grocery store, faced with the usual 100+ choices. Your kids swirl around you, excitedly telling you they want this one or that one. Do you get the Kellogg’s cornflakes or the generic? The General Mills Honey Nut Cheerios or the generic O’s version?

How do you decide? Not to mention, how do you ever get out of the store in one piece with so many choices in one food category, let alone the entire store? And how do you begin to teach your kids all that goes into your decision: price, taste, size, packaging, environmental considerations, moral scruples about corporate practices, which coupons you have, and so on? How can we help our kids understand that generics might prove to be a better alternative than the name brands seen in all the insistent TV commercials?

Why not put some products to the test? Give your kids a chance to decide whether big-name brands are really worth it.

When To Do:

After school or on the weekend

What to Do:

A fun thing you can do with your kids is to have them compare generics and non-generics on a number of categories.

1.    The next time you are in the grocery store, pick up both generic and name brand versions of some of your kid’s favorite cereals or other foods. Keep the store receipts for use in comparing prices. (Tip: If your store provides cost-per-ounce info on the shelf price label, jot this down on a pad or on the package.)

2.    Prepare a small worksheet for you and your kids to fill out for each product.

                                                      Product 1                  Product 2

         *    Price
*   Taste
*   Ingredients
*    Packaging
*   Advertising
*    Coupons
*    Other

3.    Select one food category for the first round of comparison.

4.    Set both the generic and name-brand items on the table, with proper utensils and bowls or plates, for your kids to examine, read, open, taste, and so on.

5.    Have your kids review each product and record their findings on the assessment worksheet. You may have to help them fill it in or prompt them for ways to think about comparing taste, the box copy, nutritional information, and so on.

6.    Once the worksheet is complete for the first two items, discuss what your kids uncovered in the comparison.

7.    Finally, have your kids vote on whether the generic version is better than the name brand, based on your family’s criteria.

8.    You can rerun the exercise any time to compare other products.

Bonus:

Do a blind taste test and see whether your kids can tell which is the generic and which is the name brand.

What you will need

Food items for comparison; store receipts

Pad of paper

Pencils or pens

Calculator (optional)

Talk About It

After completing a round of comparison, ask your kids what they thought of the exercise. Did they learn anything new? If so, what? Would they like to compare other products? What would they like to compare?

Things

Things! The more the better! iPods, clothes, snack foods, American Girl dolls, you name it — someone out there wants your kids to want it and ask you for it, and they want you to get it for them. It's really important that our kids learn to distinguish between those things the advertisements tell them they must have and those things that they truly need — things with real meaning and good value.

If you had all the time in the world, you would be able to teach your kids how to avoid every possible trick used by television, radio, print, and packaging advertisers to get us to “want” what they have to sell. But it’s more likely that training your kids will happen one conversation at a time. And the conversations will grow in depth and richness as your kids mature.

How to start those conversations? Here are some suggestions that parents tell us have worked for them.

When to Do:

Spare moments, quiet time on Sunday morning, in the car

What to Do:

Try one of these questions, when the moment is right, to start a conversation with your kids that can help them recognize what's truly important about the things in their lives.

1. Area to Explore: "If our house caught on fire, and we had to run for our lives, and you could save just one thing, what would it be — and why?”

Why Ask: This question can help you and your kids determine which of the items you own are just “things” and which are truly precious — things that you really need for that sense of rightness in your world, things that would be really hard to replace.

Follow-up Activity: Work with your kids to do a simple inventory of their own personal things, and then assign rankings of importance. When they are done with this, try listing things that belong to the family and ranking them, too.

2. Area to Explore: "If you could give any gift to anyone you wanted to, what would it be and who would you give this gift to? Why would you give the gift to that special person?”

Why Ask: This question taps into your kids’ natural spirit of generosity, kindness, and compassion. It turns all things into potential gifts, and it encourages your kids to focus on how good it feels to give to others.

3. Area to Explore:  "If you could invent something, what would it be? What would it do?"

Why Ask: This question asks kids to evaluate how necessity and creativity can lead to the creation of some really cool stuff/things. These inventions might be great, or a variation on something that’s already available, or hysterically funny.

Follow-up Activity: Talk with your kids about whether what they want to make would be valuable to others or just to them. If the conversation leads that way, talk with your kids about whether we really need more things to be made. For example, what kinds of things might help others and what might just fill our garage?

4. Area to Explore: "If you were going to be alone on an island for one year and could take only one book to read, one song to hear, and one movie to look at, which would you take — and why?"

Why Ask: Some things have continuing value and importance to us. We want to read them, hear them, and see them over and over again. Pausing to think about why these special things have such lasting meaning can reveal what your kids hold dear and what lifts their spirits.

Things to note:

·      Be prepared to volunteer your answers to the questions and to answer your kids' follow-up questions.

·      These questions can help you learn what your kids value most — beyond the things. It's a great way to find out how much your family values really are shared.

What you will need

Paper, pencils or pens

Time to talk

Talk to Your Kids

This is a fully “talk to your kids” exercise. 

Set for LIFE

We are always being tempted by the number of choices in life. Grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shoe shopping, card shopping, gadget shopping — to name just a few. And with all of these choices, how can we ever stay on budget? How do we model staying on budget for our kids when we’re faced with never-ending temptation?

You can help your kids get set for LIFE — mastering the basics of budgeting and how to work within their budgets — by teaching them the LIFE method. This memorable acronym can help keep your kids to stay focused on their priorities and have some fun along the way.

When to Do

When preparing to shop and when out on a shopping trip

What to Do

The four components of our LIFE strategy focus on key elements of budget management and provide easy-to-remember words as a simple learning aid.

L - Lists are important.

       Lists can be fun to make, and they help us to put some thought into the spending and buying we do. Encourage your kids to buy only items on their list. This helps to curb impulse buying and later regrets about spending.

I - Is it a need or a want?

       A smart spender will purchase things he needs before buying things he wants.

F - Find the best price.

       Shop around for the best prices, watch for sales, and, whenever possible, use coupons. 

E - Evaluate impulse shopping.

       After a shopping trip, compare what you bought with what you set out to buy, then consider how you might have chosen differently. Were your unplanned purchases smart choices (say, an unexpected sale on a need) or indulgences you wish you had resisted?

Step 1: Review the LIFE components, then think about your recent purchases and find an example you can use to demonstrate to your kids how you followed the LIFE strategy — and one to show a time that you didn’t follow it.

Step 2: Make a 3x5 card for each of your kids, listing the LIFE components. Leave room for them to personalize and decorate their cards. They can keep their cards with them to refer to until they get into the habit of following the LIFE steps.

Step 3: Using your examples from step #1, introduce the four elements to your kids and walk them through the LIFE strategy. Share how you felt and whether you were successful in following the LIFE steps. Give them their LIFE 3x5 cards.

Step 4: Get your kids ready for a shopping trip and go through the LIFE elements with them. Help them to do research, and help them in the store if temptation comes knocking.

Step 5:  Practice, practice, practice, using the LIFE cards.

Tip: Once in a while your kids may find themselves splurging without thinking on something they not only didn’t need — but also didn’t even really want! When this happens, treat it like a slip-up in dieting or exercising: don’t make a big deal of it, get back on track, and use those splurges as valuable lessons.

Talk About It

After one of your shopping trips, talk to your kids about how successful they felt they were in following the LIFE steps. What did they remember to do? What could they have done to be even happier with their spending choices?

Grooming Savvy Shoppers

We need to make a determined (and continued) effort to help our kids become smart and savvy shoppers. Kids are easily swayed in their shopping decisions — partly because advertisers, hoping to score big sales, target them heavily, and partly because kids have very little shopping experience.
Train your kids to be smart shoppers; this skill will serve them well their entire lives. The sooner your kids learn good shopping habits, the better they will do for themselves.

When to do

Ongoing

What to do

1.    Set good examples.

Our kids learn a lot more from what we do than from what we say. They watch every move we make, so it’s important that we set a good example. How are your finances? Do you overspend? Is your way the one you want your kids to follow?

The holiday season can be an excellent time to talk to your kids about the limits you have set for your spending. Let them participate in the process of selecting gifts that meet your holiday budget. If they see you doing this now, they are much more likely to build the habit and keep it up as adults.

2.    Model decision-making.

Let your kids hear your thought process when you make a purchase decision. Get in the habit of doing this — and if you don’t always remember to, ask your kids to remind you the next time. Do it for the little items as well as your bigger purchases. Expose your kids to the full variety of strategies you use in deciding whether to buy, what to buy, and how much to spend.

Then, when your kids are in the throes of making a purchase decision of their own, ask them to take you through their thinking process — out loud. As they are learning, they may need you to remind them of helpful ways to think about purchase decision-making. Start with simple suggestions; as they get better, introduce more sophisticated ideas.

3.    Let them fail.

It’s far better that our kids learn early, through simple, low-risk mistakes, to be smarter shoppers. The consequences of buying a poorly made toy are low compared to the consequences they might suffer later from buying a poorly made car. The lesson they learn from spending a few bucks on a plastic action figure that doesn’t stand up to energetic play will stick with them for a very long time.

4.    Choose not to buy.

Kids can learn from your example when you actively choose not to buy something new and instead get creative in repurposing things you already own. Sometimes our best lessons lie in helping our kids notice the abundance already in their lives; we can demonstrate being a savvy shopper by choosing not to buy something new.

What you will need

Time and patience

Talk About It

Do your kids appreciate your help when you offer advice on making a purchase decision? Do you accept advice when your kids offer their input into your decision? Ask your kids to notice whether practice helps: does it get easier or harder or to choose between two items they really want (and can afford), or does it stay the same?

Acts of Kindness

Valentine’s Day, February 14th, is a fun day for both young and old! More than just a day for romantic couples, it can be a day to celebrate friendship and kindness, and to show our appreciation for all who are dear to our hearts.

Because young kids are concrete thinkers, it can be hard for them to understand an abstract concept like kindness that can't be represented by a physical object. However, by noticing when people around them give to others, offer their help, or take actions that make others feel comforted and loved, your kids can learn that "You are kind" means so much more than three words inscribed on a Valentine’s candy heart.

 

When to Do it

Valentine’s Day, or any quiet afternoon

What to Do

Here are four kindness activities you can try with your kids this Valentine’s Day — or any other time during the year!

1.    Card Kindness

a.    What would Valentine’s Day be without pretty cards? Help your kids make cards of Kindness for those they appreciate in their lives.

b.    Help them identify ways in which their friends or family members have been kind.  If they have trouble coming up with examples, give them some hints. (Hint for parents: take a little time in advance to recall some of these acts of kindness, so you’re ready to jog your kids’ memories!)

c.    Once they have some ideas, help them make cards thanking these special people for the various acts of kindness.

d.    Help them decorate with red paper, doilies, and stickers, or glue on candy hearts.

e.    You can suggest they also describe the kind act in writing — people love knowing that their kindness was noticed and remembered.

2.    Special Gift Kindness

a.    As your own budget allows, give your kids a special gift budget to buy small Gifts of Kindness for a few of the kind people in their lives.

b.    Help your kids pick out items that mean something special to each of the people they have chosen. Suggest they remember gifts that they themselves have particularly enjoyed and treasured, and think about why they feel that way.

c.    If they have money left over, suggest they treat themselves to a Gift of Kindness — or save the money for something more special later!

3.    I Spied Kindness Box

a.    Decorate an empty box with fun heartfelt images. Close it and cut a slot in the top. 

b.    For a one-month period, ask you kids to be on the lookout for acts of kindness.

c.    Have them describe each kindness on a sheet of paper (the youngest kids may need your help with this), and drop it into the I Spied Kindness box. 

d.    At the end of the month, open the box and spend time reading aloud all the acts of kindness.

e.    Give your kids a Gift of Kindness for all their hard work of noticing when people do kind things to others.

4.    Kindness Jar

a.    Have your kids decorate a Kindness Jar to fill with spare change that your family will collect for a month. (Kids will love to watch the jar fill up day by day.)

b.    At the end of the month, help your kids sort the coins into coin roll wrappers and decide where they would like to donate the money.

c.    Take them to the chosen charity and let them hand over the contents of the Kindness Jar.

What you will need

Colored paper, doilies, stickers

Candy hearts

Jar

Box (a shoe box or candy box is a good size)

Scissors

Tape, glue

Talk about it

Was it hard for your kids to find people who were kind? How many people do they know who are kind? Did they find it fun to do the activity you chose? Do they think they are kind? Are you? Are their siblings? Why or why not?

Presidents Day: Got a Dollar?

Using an everyday item, like a dollar bill, you can share a lot with your kids this Presidents Day. A dollar, showcasing our first president, is worth far more than you realize —it offers a way to teach your kids some fun history lessons.

Do you know a dollar bill has hidden pictures, spots of color, and odd symbols? And that’s just the beginning. Do you have any idea what all of those seemingly random letters and phrases mean? Take this opportunity to explore the dollar bill and share some surprising money and history facts with your kids.

When To Do

Presidents Day

What To Do

Ask your bank for some fresh, crisp new bills, two for each kid, so they can explore and compare both sides at once. Have at least one magnifying glass; ideally, one for each kid; it’s a must for the items they’ll be looking for. Lay out the bills under a good light, look closely, and answer the following dollar bill trivia questions, in honor of our first U.S. president, George Washington.

·       How come when you accidentally launder a dollar bill it does not fall apart?

o   The dollar bill is made from a blend of cotton and linen. Combining these two materials makes a very durable piece of paper — one that will not fall apart if it goes through the wash.

o   Look closely at a bill with the magnifying glass to find the red and blue silk fibers woven throughout. Hint: Look in the white spaces on the face of the bill for little bits of the colored threads.

·       Can you find any tiny owls or spiders hidden on the front of the bill?

o   Look for a teeny owl next to the large "1" on the upper right of the bill. Look at the shield shape that surrounds that "1"; in the top left corner, the owl’s head and shoulders appear in the “scoop” of the shield, right next to the stylized leaves.

o   Now take a really close look all over the bill. What shapes do your kids see: a spider, an owl, something else?

·       On the reverse side of the dollar bill, look closely at the bottom of the pyramid. Why are there a bunch of letters: MDCCLXXVI?

The letters are actually Roman numerals:

o   M is 1,000

o   D is 500

o   CC is 200 (C is 100, 100 x 2 = 200)

o   L is 50

o   XX is 20 (X is 10, 10 x 2 = 20)

o   VI is 6 (V is 5, I is 1, 5 + 1 = 6)

Add all of these up, and you get 1776: the year our country was formed.

·       The eagle on the right is holding a ribbon or streamer in its bill. What does the phrase “E Pluribus Unum” mean?

"Out of many, one." This was added to the bill to celebrate that the original 13 colonies came together to form one new country — the United States of America.

·       Why do we have a bald eagle on our dollar bill?

Our founders wanted an animal native to America to be the new nation's symbol. The Second Continental Congress officially declared the bald eagle the national emblem of the United States in 1782. (Benjamin Franklin wanted the wild turkey to be the national bird, but he was outvoted.) The bald eagle’s image and symbolism have played a significant role in American art, folklore, music, and architecture.

·       What is the eagle is holding in its talons (feet)?

o   It holds arrows, to signify war, and an olive branch, to signify peace.

o   Can you think of why the founding fathers would put both items in the eagle’s talons?

·       How many groups of 13 can you find around the eagle?

There are six groups of 13, in honor of the original 13 colonies:

1.    13 leaves on the olive branch the eagle is holding in its right talons

2.    13 fruits on the olive branch

3.    13 arrows in the eagle’s left talons

4.    13 letters in the phrase “E Pluribus Unum”

5.    13 stars over the eagle's head

6.    13 bars on the shield on the eagle's chest

What You Will Need

A few one-dollar bills

Magnifying glass

Talk About It

Did your kids know there was so much history in one piece of paper? Show them a five-dollar or ten-dollar bill; are they interested in seeing what’s hidden on them and finding out the stories behind them? Why do they think we put presidents on our money? 

Getting Better At Waiting

Some kids are born with a tendency to be impulsive; others are born better able to not give in to temptation. Studies have shown that kids who learn self-discipline early in life are more positive, self-motivated, determined in the face of difficulties, and able to delay gratification in the pursuit of their goals. Conversely, kids who do not master self-discipline are more troubled, inflexible, and indecisive, and less self-confident as adults.

If we want our kids to develop better self-control, we parents have to control our own tendency to protect or indulge them; instead, we can help them learn to wait their turn, delay gratification, and resist temptation.

How can we do this? One way is by modeling how to wait. If we can keep our cool by patiently waiting to pay the bridge toll, or calmly standing in a long line at the bank, our kids will begin to imitate this patient behavior in similar circumstances. Another way to teach our kids the art of waiting is by guiding them through their own “patience practice” in their everyday activities.

When to do it

After school for one week

What to do

1.    Jot down two or three situations in which your kids can practice delaying gratification: completing a task before moving on to a desired activity, understanding and accepting when a desired purchase must be postponed, or controlling an impulse when it’s not appropriate. Here are some examples to get your thinking started:

·       Finishing dinner before getting dessert

·       Being very quiet while you are on the phone

·       Not eating breakfast until dressed for school

·       Finishing homework without an extended break

·       Brushing teeth before getting to read a bedtime story

·       Not buying sneakers until they go on sale or are really needed

2.    Select one area to practice with each of your kids. The idea is to have them try and master the new behavior. An honest effort counts, even if they need a few attempts before they succeed. (That’s why it’s called practice!)

3.    Set up a simple worksheet like this one to keep track of their progress and consider posting it on the fridge or another favorite spot where everyone can see their progress.

Name

Monday   Tuesday   Wednesday   Thursday   Friday   Saturday   Sunday

4.    Explain to your kids how the exercise will work, which days you will be doing it on, and what specifically you are expecting of them.

5.    If you are practicing an activity that involves improving wait time, when they begin their exercise you can mark the start time and see how they do. You can use a timer to see how long can they can wait without a break and record how long they were able to wait on their tracking sheet. If all goes well, their waiting ability will increase substantially by the end of the week.

6.    If you are practicing completing tasks before moving on to another activity, you can monitor progress on the tracking sheet with a few metrics: “Good effort,” “Almost there,” Able to wait!” For example, your kid may be holding on, bursting with what she wants to say, and not quite able to wait until your phone call is over. You mark “Good effort” on the worksheet and let her know she’ll have more opportunities to show she can wait through the whole call.

7.    By the end of the week we suggest you reward your kids for their efforts by making a favorite dinner, going to the movies, or another desired activity they help to choose.

Bonus

1.    Take time to examine your own level of self-control.

2.    Select two or three areas in which you could practice delayed gratification and patience, such as waiting in a long line, being kept on hold by customer service, or being delayed in a traffic jam.

3.    As you find yourself in these settings, be conscious of how patient you are or are not being.

4.    By developing your own self-control, you can not only ease your own stress and frustration but also set a better example for your kids.

What you will need

Paper/Pencil

Timer

Worksheet to track and record results

Talk About It

How did your kids like the exercise? Was it hard to do? Did anything make it easier as the week went on? Do they want to try it again with another activity? Why or why not?