Things!
The more the better! iPods, clothes, snack foods, American Girl dolls, you name
it — someone out there wants your kids to want it and ask you for it, and they
want you to get it for them. It's really important that our kids learn to
distinguish between those things the advertisements tell them they must have
and those things that they truly need — things with real meaning and good
value.
If
you had all the time in the world, you would be able to teach your kids how to
avoid every possible trick used by television, radio, print, and packaging
advertisers to get us to “want” what they have to sell. But it’s more likely
that training your kids will happen one conversation at a time. And the
conversations will grow in depth and richness as your kids mature.
How
to start those conversations? Here are some suggestions that parents tell us
have worked for them.
When to Do:
Spare
moments, quiet time on Sunday morning, in the car
What to Do:
Try
one of these questions, when the moment is right, to start a conversation with
your kids that can help them recognize what's truly important about the things
in their lives.
1. Area to Explore: "If our house caught
on fire, and we had to run for our lives, and you could save just one thing,
what would it be — and why?”
Why Ask: This question can help you
and your kids determine which of the items you own are just “things” and which
are truly precious — things that you really need for that sense of rightness in
your world, things that would be really hard to replace.
Follow-up Activity: Work with your kids to do a
simple inventory of their own personal things, and then assign rankings of
importance. When they are done with this, try listing things that belong to the
family and ranking them, too.
2. Area to Explore: "If you could give any
gift to anyone you wanted to, what would it be and who would you give this gift
to? Why would you give the gift to that special person?”
Why Ask: This question taps into
your kids’ natural spirit of generosity, kindness, and compassion. It turns all
things into potential gifts, and it encourages your kids to focus on how good
it feels to give to others.
3. Area to Explore: "If you could invent something, what would it be? What
would it do?"
Why Ask: This question asks kids to
evaluate how necessity and creativity can lead to the creation of some really
cool stuff/things. These inventions might be great, or a variation on something
that’s already available, or hysterically funny.
Follow-up Activity: Talk with your kids about whether
what they want to make would be valuable to others or just to them. If the
conversation leads that way, talk with your kids about whether we really need
more things to be made. For example, what kinds of things might help others and
what might just fill our garage?
4. Area to Explore: "If you were going to
be alone on an island for one year and could take only one book to read, one
song to hear, and one movie to look at, which would you take — and why?"
Why Ask: Some things have
continuing value and importance to us. We want to read them, hear them, and see
them over and over again. Pausing to think about why these special things have
such lasting meaning can reveal what your kids hold dear and what lifts their
spirits.
Things to note:
·
Be prepared to volunteer your answers to the questions and to answer
your kids' follow-up questions.
·
These questions can help you learn what your kids value most — beyond
the things. It's a great way to find out how much your family values really are
shared.
What you will need
Paper,
pencils or pens
Time
to talk
Talk to Your Kids
This
is a fully “talk to your kids” exercise.
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